Somewhere along the road, I seem to have lost my tact! But, you can all breathe easy once more, because last night when I was folding my winter clothes and putting them back in my suitcase, I found it in the pocket of my old green peacoat.

I almost forgot the reason I made this blog in the first place. Documentation, for one, but mostly to keep in touch with you, Lucas. Also, it was to make me feel connected to home. To make me feel like I still had a home back in America. And you know what? I declare this blog a failure. It really hasn't fufilled it's purpose at all. I can hardly remember living in Buffalo. In fact, I feel like I never have at all. That life is just a dream, a lucid memory that I only really think about a night before I go to sleep. When I realized this, at first I was sad but then I remembered the reason I came was for that reason exactly. To make a new home and a new life in another country.

I miss Buffalo, and my friends and my family, but that is not my home anymore. When I get back, it won't be my home right away, either. I'm going to have to start all over again from scratch, the way I did when I got here. This experience is more than just learning a language and going to a foriegn country. I have a family here, and a life, something I never really expected. When I tried to describe how I felt about going to Italy to Saira, back in January, I told her that I didn't know because when I tried to imagine my life in this foreign place, all I could see was a big blank 6 month gap in my world. I thought it would be like removing the months February-July from my life, and when I came back, it would be as though I never left. Just a new season.

I was wrong. That's not true. Things are going to be so different. I can do more than just speak a new language. I've made more than just friends. I've made sisters and boyfriends and mothers. Coming home may be a bigger culture shock then coming here, because I have expectations about life at home. I didn't have those coming here.

I am only here for another 73 days. In 73 days, my feet will be on American soil once more. The night before I left, I cried. A lot. I thought that nothing could be as sad as leaving my friends and family for six months. I was wrong again, because when I leave my new friends and family here, in Italy, it's not just for six months. It might even be forever.

I miss Buffalo and my mother and father and my friends. But, I love it here. This place is uncomplicated. This is my life, now.

Just a thought. I'll see everyone in 11 weeks, yeah?