last night I dreamed that he sent me an email. I kept trying to write him back, but strange circumstances kept pulling me away from the computer. The whole dream revolved around me formulating this scathing email that I wanted to send him in my head. But, by the time I got to the computer to write it, I found I was too frightened to send it.

So, what is this? is it a question of maturity? I can recognize that I don't want to be in a situation, but I still am incapable of walking away from it. The way I see it, there are three courses of action. To stay, To turn away, And not to make any decision at all.

I pick number three and I think it makes me a coward. I want to turn away, it's safer to stay and it's terrifying to do any of the three. but, not making a decision is an action of compliance so I mind as well have chosen number one and been done with it.

it's funny, I'm not even home yet, but I'm already looking for the escape hatch.